I realize I may be going out on a limb by assuming that there are those within the city capable of observation and deductive reasoning, but I'm possessed of enough optimism to entertain the notion of such a possibility ( Read more... )

Much as I've no desire to pander to stupidity, I had my fill of abject boredom in Hell. As it appears that my time in this poor excuse for a fish bowl will continue, and there is little in the way of impending apocalypse to provide some semblance of amusement, I am forced to entertain myself. To that end, I am reopening the Lux ( Read more... )

[This is the voice of a man who is thoroughly unamused. There may be a little weariness in there as well, mixed with a generous dose of boredom and a slight edge of annoyance.]I suppose it was only a matter of time ( Read more... )

It comes to my attention that there's a rather-

[His voice breaks off mid-sentence as he's interrupted by an unintelligible mumble.]

Yes, what is it?

Eats...

I beg your pardon?

Eats. Ant ome.

City life being what it is, I suspect you would benefit from not overindulging in manufactured pet food.

Ant eats.Unless I miss my guess, and you know ( Read more... )

In the interest of alleviating a considerable amount of tedium from my life, I have two items of business to convey. The average attention span being what it is, I suspect that I'm doing little more than speaking to myself. Still, we do try to soldier on, don't we ( Read more... )

[Lucifer's voice is cool and bland, rather at odds with the words he's speaking.]

Having reached a level of impatient irritation heretofore felt only during the most interminable of my long eons in Hell, I've decided to close the Lux for the rest of the-

[A quieter voice, somewhat further away from the phone, interrupts. It can just barely be ( Read more... )

[It's unlikely that Lucifer's voice could sound blander and more bored than it does right now. There's also the faintest hint of dry sarcasm in there too.]There are moments when I find myself running so low on patience that it's a wonder I don't resort to violence. It seems to be a method that's worked quite well for the human race these last few ( Read more... )

[The recording turns on in the middle of a disgusted sigh.]

Already I find myself fed up with this insipid melodrama and I suspect it's only just begun. Should any of the miscellaneous natives who enjoy traipsing around this wretched cesspool in a decidedly non-festive collection of masks and bedsheets happen to be listening to this, I suggest you ( Read more... )

[Lucifer's voice is clipped and vaguely annoyed.]

While I understand the need to practice one's skills to retain what abilities one can be said to possess, I would appreciate it if I did not find myself the target of such endeavors.

Consider this something in the vein of a public service announcement.

I'll not make another.

Though I never looked upon Los Angeles with the level of contempt I reserved for a multitude of other places I occasionally found myself calling home, I had not anticipated a time in which I would look back on it with anything approaching fondness. Acquire an address and every idiot with the capacity to emerge from a paper bag suddenly turns up on ( Read more... )